Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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