i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
