Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
40s are totally the cure
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
