He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
