she woke up with a sticky ear
worst night to have a conscience
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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