real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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