So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
