So drunk its hurt
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
