I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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