just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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