party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
