you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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