maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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