You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
