What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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