No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
