Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
