A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
