Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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