these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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