...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
