official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
