i may or may not be watching the land before time
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
