I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
