you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
