my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How does one acquire holy water?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
