Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
