I could make wine with my vomit
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
