She's JV to your varsity
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
