Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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