Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
