i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
