I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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