Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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