I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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