It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
