So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
