Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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