Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
