She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
