there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
