Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
