you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
PANTIES FOUND
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