If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
