At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
