apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize