cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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