is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
