I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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