Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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