STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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