i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
