i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
