..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
