That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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