if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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