Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
