Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
