Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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