He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
