I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize