Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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