this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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