C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
