your thong is hanging out like whoa
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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