On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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