I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
